I Do Want You To Know
by Midnight's Violet Haze
Summary: Sam has something important to say before he leaves. As such things often go, it's done in song. - SamKurt, spoilers for S3


**In light of recent news, I felt this absolutely needed to be written, so I dropped everything and wrote right through the crack of dawn to get it done in time for it to actually be relevant. From what I've just said (typed) it should be clear that there are spoilers up ahead and if you don't want to know then... **

**STOP READING RIGHT HERE! SPOILERS AHEAD!**

**Anyway, according to the comic con panel, Sam is officially gone. I don't really blame Chord for leaving after all the lying and fumbling they did on that panel, explicitly blaming CC for saying he found out about leaving on twitter despite the fact that there was really no other way for him to interpret RM's statement and besides the fact that at least two of RIB were literally 5 feet away from him when he was giving the interview in which he said that and they could have easily been like "Dude chill, you're still on S4". Whatever. Although I had longed for more Kurt, at this point I really just want CC to jump the hell off this sinking ship. Also, I have no desire to have to put up with Blaine past S3 - if Kurt leaves, so can I and then no more Blaine on my TV.**

**Either way: this is my contribution to the ship that SHOULD have been. I've never been a hardcore Kummer, but it was my only hope for a canon Kurt pairing that I liked, since Kinn and PucKurt are incredibly unlikely. Besides, even outside of the pairing, I like Sam. He's kind of the only decent guy on the show. I can name several dick moves pulled by every other guy (even Mike), so it was nice to see someone genuinely nice for once. Plus, it's really depressing, but I know that the Kum/Skurt/Hevans ship is going to die out very quickly after this new blast. I quite like reading Sam/Kurt fics and now there is going to be a severe lack of them. Considering Klaine already makes up more than half of the new Kurt fics, this is terrible news for non-Klainers like myself. I might have to resort to reading Kurtofsky. (Nothing against you if you ship it, it's just never really appealed to me, though I'll take it over Klaine)**

**Another relevant SPOILER: Mercedes apparently gets a new bf during the summer. She goes pretty much 2 seasons without a real love interest and then BAM two in one summer. Nice, Glee. **

**Disclaimer: Glee is not mine (though lord knows even I with my frequent hiatuses and disappearances would do a better job than RIB), neither is the song, or anything really.**

**Important: **Sam Singing / _Kurt Singing _/ _Both Singing Together in Harmony :)_

**I promised myself no more song fics, but how else am I supposed to write a Glee fic in which two people perform? It just turns into a song fic, or at least close enough. This is terribly cheesy, but I can't seem to make it less so. Try to enjoy:**

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><p><span>I Do Want You To Know<span>

Will clapped his hands together. "Okay guys, welcome to the first meeting of the year!"

The gleeks clapped and cheered enthusiastically and Will laughed, waiting until they settled down to continue.

"It'll be another year of Glee Club, and for some of our original members, it'll be their last." Some 'aw's echoed around the room and Will smiled sadly. "I know, it's sad. That's why this year, more than ever, we have a goal to achieve. Taking Nationals! We made it last year and this time we're going to claim first place!"

Once again cheers and loud 'whoops' filled the choir room. Rachel took this as her cue to stand and announce, "Don't worry, my fellow glee club members. I promise that this time Finn and I will lead you to victory with a marvellous duet sans the unprofessional surprise ending!"

The happy mood immediately soured.

"Who says _you're_ getting the solo?" Mercedes sneered.

"Especially after you messed it up last time. We're not going to trust you _twice_," Quinn added from the back row.

Santana just muttered mutinously in Spanish and Will winced, being the only one to understand the threats she was issuing. "We'll discuss the details at a later date," he said, trying to appease both Rachel and the rest of the club.

Finn nodded from the middle row, "Yeah, dudes. Mr. Shue will totally be all like 'Everyone's going to get a chance to shine' for pretty much the entire year and Rachel will be totally pissed, but, like, three hours before Nationals when we finally decide on our set list, me and Rach will get a solo like always! It's totally awesome for everyone!"

Artie raised his hand, "Um, I'm not cool with that."

Coughing awkwardly, Will ignored the last interjection, "Moving on, I'm sure you've all noticed the new, but familiar, face among us. Please give a warm welcome to our newest member: Blaine Anderson!"

Blaine hopped onto his chair, bowing and basking in the perfunctory applause. Kurt rolled his eyes beside him.

"Hey, hobbit! Why would you give up Gay Hogwarts to come to this shithole school?" Puck asked.

Blaine shrugged, "My parents went bankrupt or some other suitable, but not completely believable, excuse. Since I had to go to public school anyway, I decided I might as well be with the love of my life!" He turned to gaze adoringly at the boy beside him and below him, which was exactly where he belonged.

Kurt shifted uncomfortably as everyone else turned to look at him as well. "I would just like to have it on record that I had nothing to do with this. I only found out this morning when he covered my eyes with his hands and said 'Guess Who?' It was not well received."

Laughing, Mercedes felt the need to add, "My boy kneed him where it _hurt_."

"Isn't Westerville four hours away? That kind of commute every morning is a bit ridiculous," Tina cut in.

"Kurt did it…apparently…"

Straightening his jacket, Kurt said, "Lady-chats with Finn were much more important than a silly thing like sleep." Finn grinned, extending a fist which Kurt bumped awkwardly before inspecting his nails. "Besides, Pavarotti loved riding in my baby – may he rest in peace."

"Normally," Will announced loudly, "I would ask Blaine to audition for us – "

Blaine hopped back down excitedly. "Perfect. I have several selections to sing. Naturally, as I was the star of the Warblers I will be taking over the same position here," he said. At the sound of Kurt clearing his throat, Blaine turned quickly, meeting his boyfriend's deadly glare with a cheesy grin. "Of course, as my boyfriend, you'll be able to join me for a duet every now and then," he told Kurt, condescending as usual.

Kurt scoffed, crossing his arms causing Blaine to coo, "Aw, you're so _adorable_" as he sat back down.

"As I was saying," Will said, quickly becoming annoyed at the interruptions, "Normally this would be the case. However, a certain member has an announcement to make."

The kids glanced around curiously.

Standing up with his guitar, Sam walked to the front. "Well, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is my Dad got a job offer. The bad news is that it's in a different city, so we're moving."

The group broke out into whispers. Kurt was the only one who addressed Sam directly, "Wait, so you're leaving? How soon?"

Sam grimaced, "Tonight, actually. I only came for club today because I have something important to say…to you, actually." He ducked his head down nervously, plucking a few strings on his guitar.

"Yes?" Kurt said imploringly, leaning forward. Blaine tightened his grip on his boyrfriend's hand, but Kurt shook it off.

Shuffling his feet nervously, Sam looked took a deep breath and looked up. "First of all: I'm gay."

"Whoa!" Artie gasped.

"Called it!" Santana yelled, smirking and Quinn shrugged in agreement.

"Dolphin?" Santana smiled at the blonde beside her and linked their pinkies together.

Ignoring the outburst, Sam met the eyes of a shocked looking Kurt. "I've liked you, probably since you first cornered me by my locker and accused me of dyeing my hair. But I fell in love with you when you were helping me out once my family lost the house," he confessed.

Kurt remained silent, but Blaine spluttered beside him before gasping, outraged, "You can't just say that to other people's boyfriends! Besides, I thought you were seeing Mercedes. I saw you holding hands in the café at the start of summer."

"She figured me out and was helping me with my feelings for Kurt, even though I told her not to bother. I actually introduced her to a friend of mine and they're going out now," Sam said.

Mercedes nodded, "Yeah, we've been out all summer. He's already met my parents and gotten the Kurt Hummel seal of approval. He'll probably end up transferring here and joining both football and Glee, since that's how things work around here."

Sam's eyes flickered back and forth between Kurt and Blaine, "It's not my style to go after someone that's taken, but you're not happy Kurt and I can't leave without letting you know how I feel."

"Kurt is perfectly happy with me. We're the perfect couple!" Blaine said, standing up as if he was considering getting physical.

"You're not!" Sam protested vehemently, "A relationship where you don't see each other as equals is really messed up – trust me, I know. You always seem like you think you're better than him or something. Like at the café! Kurt was talking about that awesome play he was going to write and you rolled your eyes and looked at me like you were trying to say 'Oh, isn't my boyfriend so cute and silly', which is stupid 'cause as far as I'm concerned, writing up a whole new musical is a lot more impressive than singing someone else's songs at an amusement park." He looked back to Kurt again with serious eyes, "You're not silly, Kurt, you're _amazing_."

Obviously angered, Blaine made to step forward, but was yanked back into his seat by Kurt. "_Stop it_, Blaine. The thought of you taking on Sam is as ridiculous as the time you tried to push Karofsky around and I hardly think Santana is going to come to your rescue this time. I find that violent behaviour is best left to Neanderthals. Expressing oneself through, however, song is much more mature," Kurt said, not even glancing at Blaine and instead keeping his gaze fixed on Sam. His face was blank, not allowing any insight into his thoughts, but it softened slightly as he told the faux-blond, "Go on, Sam, sing your song. I promise I'll listen."

Grinning nervously, Sam closed his eyes and started to strum out a tune on his guitar. When it finally came time to sing, his eyes shot open and locked onto Kurt.

Everyone's around

No words are coming out

And I can't find my breath

Can we just say the rest with no sound?

Sam thought about how he had had a whole year to admit some kind of attraction to Kurt, but every time he'd been about to speak the words out loud, he'd find himself too scared because of everyone else around them. Instead he ended up trying to communicate with Kurt through stolen glances as he sat with his cheerleader girlfriend, not knowing if the message was being conveyed because at the time Kurt's eyes had always been two unchanging pools of sadness.

And none of this is enough

I still don't measure up

And I'm not prepared

Sorry is never there when you need it

On the one hand, he was trying to live up to society's expectations by burying his sexuality and inner dork and becoming the star quarterback. On the other hand, he couldn't measure up to his own expectations of courage and bravery and he knew that failing his own expectations meant he was nowhere near the man that Kurt deserved. He hid behind a straight façade and though he longed to, at the very least, apologize to Kurt for his cowardice, every time an opportunity came up and he got the other boy alone, the words became stuck in his throat, only every coming out in whispers in the privacy of his own room.

And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone

And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me

I'd be so good to you

By the time he'd finally been ready to step up and be good enough for Kurt, Blaine had been in the picture. Sam wasn't a cheater – apparently he just got cheated _on_ a lot. Now that he was leaving, though, he wanted Kurt to know everything he had been holding back; he wanted Kurt to know that he would be good to him, better than Blaine.

_I thought I saw a sign_

_Somewhere between the lines_

_Or maybe it's me_

_Maybe I only see what I want_

It started whisper-soft, but Kurt's pure voice strengthened until it filled the room and Brad picked up on the piano, matching his tonality perfectly. Arms curled protectively around himself, Kurt ignored Blaine's gaping in favour of thinking back to the first time he'd met Sam. He had thought he'd seen something in the other boy, but had quickly been told off by both his father and Finn. They'd convinced him that he was wrong, that he was just seeing what he wanted to see and that Sam was one hundred percent straight and definitely not interested. Then he had met Blaine and, again, he had seen something in him, but at that point it really _was_ all in his head. He needed a friend, a mentor, someone to fix him, so he'd made himself believe that Blaine was the answer to everything he needed.

_Well I still have your letter_

_Just got caught between_

_Someone I just invented, _

_Who I really am,_

_And who I've become_

Despite everything, Kurt hadn't forgotten about Sam, he'd just preoccupied himself so that he wouldn't think about the disappointment he felt. He became caught up in this new persona he had created, a different Kurt that could get along with Blaine. A Kurt that could sway in the background, tone down his quirks and 'fit in' with the Warblers: someone that Blaine wanted. But Blaine didn't want him, no matter how hard Kurt tried to mould himself into the perfect boy and Kurt became someone new entirely, more broken than ever. He tried to fix himself and regain his true personality, but Blaine reeled him back in with a kiss and now with three different Kurts warring for control, he was lost. By the end of the verse, Kurt found himself belting out the words the way he used to, the way he'd done when he first returned to McKinley and had truly felt like himself again – that is until the next time Blaine had put him down, regarding his kilt.

_And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone_

_And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me_

_I'd be so good to you_

The sound of their voices fitting together so perfectly made both boys smile. Standing up, Kurt made his way towards Sam, thinking that perhaps he could find himself again, with Sam's help. He thought maybe Sam really would be good to him and he knew he could be good to Sam in return.

_Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

By this point, Kurt and Sam only had eyes for each other, completely blocking out the rest of the room

_Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

I can't be without you

At his line, Sam's voice was full of emotion as he stretched into the highest part of his range while Kurt carried on with the backing vocals.

_Whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh_

I can't be without you

They were repeating the same lines again, but the intensity of their voices grew until they were both almost shouting. Sam's line came out almost strangled, he was full on begging when he sang those words. Just as they had reached the limits of their lungs' capacities and the tension was at its highest, they both cut off abruptly. Sam abandoned his guitar playing and used his free hands to reach for Kurt, leaving only the soft sound of the piano to compete with the awed silence in the room.

_I, I would_

Sam framed Kurt's face with his hands and tilted his head up until only a few centimetres separated them. Breath mingling, the line was almost spoken, rather than sung, like a promise between the two of them. Then suddenly Sam let go and began to work the strings of his guitar again, louder than before.

_And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone_

_And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me_

_I'd be so good to you_

Kurt and Sam both looked out at the other glee kids, acknowledging their audience for the first time in the performance, but quickly turned their attention back to each other.

_I'd be good to you_

I'd be good to you

_I'd be good to you_

I'd be so good to you

_I'd be good to you_

I'd be good to you

_I'd be good to you_

I'd be so good to you

It was a back and forth between them, as if one of them was asking a question and the other was answering. They reassured each other of their feelings and of the belief that they would be good together and in the background the other glee kids had taken up the backing vocals. Blaine's jaw was still dropped, but Mercedes had one hand held tightly around his shoulder, just in case.

As the final chords hummed beneath his fingers, Sam yanked off his guitar and laid it carelessly on the piano. It was rather uncharacteristic of him, but the only thing on his mind was Kurt. This time when he reached out for Kurt, the other boy reached out for him too and they clung to each other.

Eyes welling up with tears, Kurt whispered brokenly, "Why did you have to wait until now? How can you sing to me like that knowing that you won't be here tomorrow?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Blaine sneered, "He's only speaking up now because he knows he won't have to deal with the repercussions. The jocks can't follow him wherever he's going."

Not sparing Blaine a glance, Sam held his gaze steady with Kurt's. "I promise you, Kurt, that's not true. I mean, if I didn't have to move, I definitely wouldn't have said any of this because you're with Blaine because I would never want to mess with your head like that, but if you guys had ever broken up I would have made a move in a heartbeat, jocks or not. Knowing that I might never see you again? I would always regret it if you never knew that I love you. Please believe me," he said earnestly.

"I believe you," Kurt whispered, entranced by the other's words and Sam smiled briefly in relief.

"So now you know. And if you don't feel the same, then you can stay with Blaine and I won't disrupt your relationship because you'll never have to see me again. But if you have any feelings for me at all, then…" Sam paused here and whatever spell Kurt had been under seemed to break.

"Then what?" Kurt asked, pulling away harshly, batting his wet lashes rapidly as he tried to dry out his eyes. "We'll have some sort of long distance relationship?" he spat out the words almost mockingly.

Sam quirked the corners of his lips into a weak smile, "Yeah, why not?"

Kurt let out a bitter laugh, "Those never work, Sam."

"I think we could make it work," Sam countered fiercely, but then calmed down and pressed his lips together tightly, "But if you don't want to, then I guess I could settle for a promise. To be together once we graduate."

Kurt shook his head feverishly, "I can't Sam. As soon as I graduate, I'm going to New York; it's where I belong. As much as I want to be with you, I could never give up my dream."

"And I wouldn't ask you to!" Sam insisted. He ran a hand through his blond locks and chuckled, "I never told you where exactly I'm moving, did I?" Sam grinned broadly at Kurt, "I'm moving to New York."

"What?"

Sam laughed again, "I'm moving to New York and I'll probably stay there for college."

Kurt brought a trembling hand up to his mouth. "You mean-?"

"Yeah," Sam nodded, serious again, "I know you plan on going there after you finish school, so I want you to know that I'm willing to wait for you…as long as you're willing to wait for me."

Eyes wide with both joy and surprise, Kurt let out a choked squeal before launching himself into the taller boy's arms. "Yes, yes, yes!" He ran his fingers through the scruffy blond hair before tightening his grip and pulling Sam's face down to his level. "One year?" he asked.

"One year," Sam smiled.

"Then I'll wait for you, I promise," Kurt swore, leaning up to capture Sam's lips in a chaste kiss. "I'll be out on the next plane the moment that diploma's in my hand!" he said and Sam laughed happily at the look of determination on Kurt's face.

"_Excuse me_!" an affronted voice interrupted the blissful mood, reminding Kurt and Sam that they were being watched by the entire club, especially Blaine who was standing right in front of them, arms crossed and one foot tapping impatiently.

Sheepishly untangling themselves, Kurt and Sam faced Blaine and the others with their hands tightly clasped.

"Do I at least get the dignity of having a proper break up before _my boyfriend_ makes plans to have a long distance relationship with another boy?" Blaine questioned, clearly irked, but knowing that there was nothing he could do to separate the two now that they had finally gotten together.

"Sorry, Blaine," Kurt said, not sounding apologetic in the least. "It's not you, it's me. We've just drifted apart. I love you, but I'm not _in_ love with you. I think we're just meant to be best friends," he said cheesily, really hamming it up. "Is there anything I'm missing 'Cedes? I've never broken up with someone before…" Kurt said, turning to his best friend.

She rolled her eyes, "Like I'd know any better. The last boy that dumped me just said, 'I'm gay.'"

Kurt blushed at the memory then turned to rest of the group and asked, "Anyone else?"

Santana chimed in instantly with, "Your dick's too small" and Brittany followed up with a deadpan, "You're not furry enough."

"We're not musically compatible," offered Rachel and "I'm not ready to be tied down yet," was from Finn, which caused Rachel to glare at him as she remembered their first break up two years ago after their first time at sectionals.

"You want more than I'm prepared to give," suggested Artie, subtly eying Tina who in turn suggested, "We're just not meant to be." This prompted Mike to try, "I'm in a confusing place right now" and Puck called out, "I'm too much of a man for one woman."

Lauren quickly countered with, "I'm too much of a woman for one man" and Quinn had her head Cheerio smirk on as she said, "I'm afraid it's just not working out."

At this point Kurt was giggling into his hand. "Oh dear, most of those were horrendous. I think I'll just stick with mine. In any case," he said, turning back to Blaine, "I think you get the gist of it. We're over."

"Your loss," Blaine spat out angrily before storming out of the room in perfect Rachel Berry fashion.

"Don't you think that was a bit harsh?" Sam asked, aiming for concerned, though the bright grin he couldn't quite get rid of made him fall short.

Kurt smiled back at him, "He'll be fine, trust me." "Oh and Rachel?" he called out, waiting until she nodded at him, "Expect a call sometime today for advice on appropriate break-up songs to sing in Glee. I won't tell you not to help him, but please try and limit him to one a day. It's hard enough for the rest of us to get a chance to sing with just you here."

Rachel looked weirdly elated at the thought and gave Kurt a completely unnecessary thumbs up.

Kurt muffled a laugh into Sam's chest before snuggling in as close as possible. "How am I supposed to survive this craziness without you?" he asked, peeking up at Sam from under his lashes lips curling into a sad pout.

Sam looked down at him with soft eyes, brushing thumb against the corner of Kurt's frowning lips. "You've still got Mercedes. And you've met her boyfriend, he's actually kind of normal," he said, "And you can call me every morning and every night and whenever you want, really. And we can text and skype and I'll even write you, like, actual hand-written letters."

He grasped Kurt's hand in his and laid it flat against his heart in a nonverbal oath. "We can do this," he promised, "Just one year."

He leaned down to kiss Kurt softly and thoroughly. "One year," Kurt agreed, murmuring it against Sam's lips.

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><p>"Wow, I can't believe Sam was gay this whole time," Finn whispered to Quinn while everyone else watched the sweet show the new couple was putting on at the front of the room. "Didn't you say he wasn't gay? Like, in those exact words?"<p>

Quinn rolled her eyes, "If he had actually been straight then I never would have had to bother saying that in the first place. My denial of his homosexuality was, in actuality, proof of it."

"Huh?"

Quinn sighed, before smiling a little too sweetly at her confused ex. "I lied Finn. It was a big, fat lie."

End

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><p><strong>IDK what that last bit was. I just felt like it ended on an awkward note with the SamKurt, like it didn't FEEL finished, so I just stuck in some comic relief a la Finn.**

**Drop a review please and tell me what you think. Was the song-fic-ishness of it unbearable? Any awkward moments? How was the SamKurt? How were the other characters, as minor as they were? Did the little cracky bits and snips at the Glee universe feel out of place? Was Blaine handled okay? **

**Keep in mind:I didn't write him this way out of my dislike for his character, I just wrote him as how I see canon-Blaine rather than the fanon-Blaine everyone else seems to prefer (you know, the Blaine that apparently loves Harry Potter and plays the guitar and is incredibly like Darren Criss except gay and dating Kurt?). I will argue this point to the death using REAL sources, such as episodes in which he is a douche (there are a lot) if need be.**

**Also: proof that I didn't write Blaine this way out of intense hatred for his character? I hate Will Shuester just as much as Blaine, if not more and I hate Rachel 95% of the time as well. I poked fun at Shue and Rachel and Glee's fail!logic in general (favouritism/obnoxiousness/Dalton commute), just as I did with Blaine (standing on furniture).**

**With sincere offers of condolences to the Kummers,**

**Midnight's Violet Haze**

**HS**


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